Detention
by P.L.S
Summary: Harry, Snape, and Hooch get detention for starting a food fight and hitting Dumbledore with a pie respectively. This is the account of the detention and afterwards.


Title: Detention [for the HP/SS Gen fest]  
  
Author: P.L.S.  
  
Contact:  
  
Challenge: 8.) Snape starts a food fight.  
  
Summery:[Harry's Sixth Year- 1996-97] Well, food fights are kind of taboo in the wizarding world and Snape starts the granddaddy of them all right in Hogwarts' Great Hall. So he, Madame Hooch [who provoked him], and Harry Potter [who hit the most people including Dumbledore], have to clean the hall without magic. It ends up being very educational. [pairing- post Hooch/Snape]  
  
Rating: Very Mild- not a swear word in sight.  
  
Disclaimer: Umm, I don't own the characters, ideas, or setting. They belong to Ms. Rowling and whoever else owns those most privileged rights. Lucky sods.  
  
Author's Note: I was going to do humor, but I'm too dark in nature. This is about as lighthearted as I get. Maybe I need to relax and watch a few funny cartoons.

---/----/----/----/----/---

It hadn't seemed like a bad idea at the time, retaliating against the rubber wand trick of that wench's with a bit of flung potatoes. Apparently he had temporarily lost his mind, food fights were very much against the school rules since the founders, and now the act was taboo in Wizarding Great Britain.  
  
After all his actions started a fearsome food fight involving the whole school, and for once in his life seemed to really anger and disappoint the headmaster. So here he was standing with a mop, bucket of cleaning potions, and rags, staring in disbelief at his bad luck. He, Slytherin Head and Potions Master Severus Snape, had started the second recorded food fight at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Somehow, that vile word, oops, seemed appropriate.  
  
But he couldn't forget he wasn't alone, the one who angered him with her rubber wand was here, as well as his least favorite of pupils for adding to the chaos. Yes, Xiomara Hooch and Harry Potter were locked in the once grand Great Hall until it sparkled with the brilliance that it had before the first spoonful of potato was flung.  
  
I really think this is unfair. Snape muttered under his breath. Potter snorted and started making a nice mixture of cleaning solutions while both of his elders were still watching the door. Gryffindor.'  
  
Of course! You're the one who started the stupid thing. Hooch huffed and glared at Snape, which couldn't add up to Snape's weakest glare.  
  
Madame Hooch, with all due respect, shut up! Potter snapped, showing a bit of backbone as he soaked his mop in the solution he mixed and started to try to get rid of the calamari pudding mixture that was plastered onto the stones.  
  
I hate to say this but Potter's right. You need to just shut up. Snape smirked at the flying instructor who was just holding onto her temper by clenching her fists. Potter growled and cursed.  
  
And you do too. Both of you are to blame. I don't know why I have to clean up with you both! Potter shouted the last bit and earned Snape's best glare.  
  
Potter. Shut. Your. Trap. he punctuated each word to make the message clear, You just happened to hit our beloved headmaster with a charmed flaming pudding. Potter snorted and arrogantly leaned up against his mop handle.  
  
I didn't start it, you two did. And sorry to break it to you, but with your wands, Dumbledore stripped you both of Professor status until he gives you your wands back. the brat smirked as he reiterated Dumbledore's sentence. Both adults bristled at his lack of respect and mocking tone.  
  
I'll make you regret every word out of your mouth you insane brat. Snape ground out as he trust his mop into Potter's mix which seemed to work. So all those detentions with Filch hadn't been wasted.'  
  
And I'll just sit back and laugh as Sevvie gets he revenge. Hooch said with a dark chuckle as she too started scrubbing at the floor. Snape was about to yell at his former girlfriend for using one of the Forbidden Names', but Potter's voice came first.  
  
Well, you just dropped from Favorite Teacher' status. Potter commented casually.  
  
Hooch looked as confused as Snape felt.  
  
Well, considering chances of death in your class is nil, you don't try to rip me open with scathing commentary, and you aren't set on turning me over to Voldemort or dementors. . . But don't worry, all that status meant was I stopped students from pranking you, causing trouble, and endorsed your clubs and ideas. Potter shrugged as if it really didn't matter but both teachers had noted that over the past two years Hooch had yet to give one detention, and the coaching she had been doing was going much smoother this year than it had before. Snape snorted in amusement.  
  
Arrogant whelp. he said snidely.  
  
Shut it, Snape. You did all that for me? Hooch glared at the Potions Master then looked at Potter with her puppy dog eyes. Potter was unaffected.  
  
Yeah, after I started figuring how to use all the damned fame I get slapped with to get what I want done. You obviously don't need my help. Potter turned his attention back to the floor and ignored his teachers.  
  
Argh! This is all your fault Sevvie-poo! Hooch howled and brandished her sopping wet mop at him. Snape raised his mop to counter her strike and soon they were doing some parody of fencing, aiming to maim.  
  
It is not, AND DON'T CALL ME THAT NAME!!! Snape shouted. He ducked a swipe at his head.  
  
What name, Sevvie-wevvie? Hooch inquired in her irritatingly sweet voice that she knew Snape hated. She dodged the blow aimed at breaking her arm. Potter was watching in ill-hid amusement and he had to add to Snape's anger with a smirk.  
  
I think he might mean, Sevvie-poo, right Snapy-kins? Potter added getting a laugh from Hooch.  
  
Grrr. . . Snape parried a gibe at his groin. He was going to kill them both.

---/----/----/----/----/---

Snape watched the stars slowly dance across the enchanted ceiling from his perch on the newly cleaned Slytherin house table. Hooch was reclining further down on the bench Potter labored over. He had to admit, the brat dug right into hard and dull chores with a tenacity that was hard to find in this school. That was why cleaning without magic was such a harsh punishment, but Potter seemed to be almost at ease and familiar with this method of cleaning while Hooch was constantly flexing the fingers on her wand hand and muttering spells under her breath. Snape had to admit he was aching with the effort of mopping up the muck, and Potter had to be forced to rest.  
  
Potter was now sulkily sitting cross-legged at the end of the table, index finger pointed out and twitching upward. What was that brat doing now? The finger was pointed at the pile of mops and buckets, which were twitching in concert with Potter's motions?  
  
What are you doing, Potter? Snape asked suddenly. Both Hooch and Potter jumped and then glared at Snape who looked totally unapologetic.  
  
What does it look like I'm doing? Potter asked in a mildly sardonic tone. Hooch sniggered at Potter's frustrated countenance.  
  
Don't even try the Death Glare, Sev' has the patent on that. Xiomara gibed with a slight grin. Snape rolled his eyes at her childish comment.  
  
Besides your sarcasm is weak. Now answer my question. Snape demanded with a dark glower at Hooch. Harry was still very sullen looking.  
  
I'm resting. Like you both told me to. he answered in a tired tone. Snape ground his teeth in frustration, the boy had no clue what he was talking about. The boy looked at the pile of cleaning tools and the topmost mop defiantly moved with his hand motions.  
  
Do that again. Snape demanded. Potter looked confused.  
  
Snape bit back the acidic comment that he had ready.  
  
Move your hand. he snapped and Harry looked at him as if he had lost his mind, which was entirely probable considering how they got into this mess in the first place.  
  
Like that? Why? Harry obliged, nothing happened. Hooch was sitting up now and watching them both with curious eyes.  
  
Yeah, why does Harry have to move his hand? She asked cocking her head like a playful dog, funny that. It was her animagus form, a great yellow dog that was addicted to chewing up shoes and ripping up quaffles. Snape smirked, recalling those days was always interesting.  
  
It doesn't matter. What were you thinking about? Snape asked Potter who was now looking very sheepish. What could that mean? What does he have to be embarrassed about, unless it was a few impure thoughts about his classmates.'  
  
Er, that it would be cool it I could make the mop whack you in the head. the boy finally admitted causing Hooch to howl with laughter and Snape to glare again.  
  
the Head of Slytherin muttered as Hooch finally calmed down again. Think about moving that bucket of slop. he ordered.  
  
Er, okay. . . Potter said in a small voice and he turned to look hard at the mops. Hooch watched as Potter's face became stony in concentration.  
  
Severus, you don't think that he can do wandless magic, do you? she asked nervously. Severus smirked.  
  
Not think, I know he can. he said in a very confident tone that he normally saved for showing off his original potion brews. Potter looked back at them with wide eyes.  
  
Huh? Don't tell me this is another one of those freakish powers I have that will make people think I'm Voldemort's heir. he almost stammered, but somehow the boy could keep his tone even in his terror.  
  
Yes it is, but as of right now I'm thinking about you getting us out of here before breakfast. Snape said casually and Potter's face paled.  
  
Oh great then! Why don't I just call up a few of Slytherin's other pets and have them work too. he nearly shouted and jumped off the table.  
  
What are you two talking about? And why are you panicking, Harry? Hooch asked. Harry rounded on her in a move that Snape knew Potter had stolen from him. But the look on Hooch's face was worth the breach of the trademark moves.  
  
I'm already a known parselmouth, I can see through Voldemort's eyes at times, I look like he did when he was my age, and now Snape thinks I can do wandless magic. I think I have a right to panic! Harry was now bitterly angry and Snape was almost pleased with the natural talent the child was showing in glares, angry motions, and intimidating voices. Hooch however was unaffected, after all she survived being his girlfriend for three years.  
  
Hmm, so you could will the place clean? She asked brightly.  
  
No, yes, I don't know. But that's beside the point. I'm sick of having things in common with him. Harry was now looking just worn-out and sick of everything. Wait when did he become Harry?'  
  
Harry, I'll make you a deal, you get this place clean and I'll get you a good shrink. Hooch suggested.  
  
What's a size reduction spell have to do with the brat panicking over his looks? Snape asked very confused. Hooch had the audacity to pinch his cheek.  
  
You are such an idiot at times, Sevvie-Poo. She said with a grin as she was pinching his cheek and he was pulling his right arm to punch her face.  
  
Grr. . . he growled as she dodged away and Potter was looking very bored.  
  
Stop tormenting him. Both of you act like second years. said the student with a tired tone as he sat on the bench and put his head in his hands.  
  
Oh, this is rich. A sixteen year old lecturing me on my maturity. Snape said with a very intimidating glare at his ex.  
  
Well someone needs to. She snapped back.  
  
Harry shouted, I'll clean the hall. But you both owe me big time. his voice was now tired again. Harry stood and held his arms out and soon an aura of pure magical energy surrounded the boy, obscuring him totally, rang out a thundering version of Harry's voice.  
  
A set of three silent shock waves of magic pulsed about the room, and left Severus blind for a minute. When he could see again he was astounded. The hall was far better looking than he could ever remember it being. The stones all shone white, silver, and gold, the tables now looked to be made of glass covered honey toned woods, as did the benches and chairs. The banners all looked to be brand-new and the colors were sharper than ever. Severus blinked. Where was Potter? Oh, as long as Potter didn't combust, Dumbledore shouldn't be too angry with how over board the brat went.'  
  
Woah. . . did you see that? Hooch asked in a rather astonished voice. Snape held back more sarcasm. It was a rather stupid question though.  
  
See? Woman, the power overwhelmed me. I think I just got my sight back. Snape decided to belittle her instead. She paid no attention though as she stood up and walked to the place where Potter stood before that whole casting of the mother of all cleaning spells. Xiomara was hunched down and she looked back as Snape was coming to join her. Her face was a mix of awe and sadness.  
  
Look, he's passed out. she said as Snape reached her and the sprawled out form of the boy. She brushed his fringe out of his eyes and watched as Snape took the child's pulse.  
  
Well, at least he's still alive. Severus finally said and Xiomara looked shocked.  
  
What? You mean he could have died? she asked in a whisper. Severus nodded his head.  
  
Yes, that much power was akin to two of the headmaster both at the prime of their lives. he said in a quiet tone to match hers.  
  
He's that powerful, huh? she smiled a bit at the unconscious boy who was dead to the world. Snape had to smirk a bit at that.  
  
Yes, I think that might be reason enough for why the Dark Lord wants him dead. he commented as if it were on the same level as talking about the weather.  
  
Oh my. And he has no clue about his power and potential? she asked him with a bit of honest concern for the child. Snape shrugged.  
  
How could he? He only does just enough to get by in class, and we no longer allow spirit quests for students without parental consent. He said with a bit of disdain, she knew all too well of his petitions against that rule. They were the only scientifically supported propositions to be refused for fifteen years in a row by both the governors and the headmaster.  
  
Should we tell him? she asked nervously. Snape mulled the question over in his mind for a few minutes. He frowned as the answer became clear.  
  
Later, and don't tell Albus. he whispered.  
  
Of course not. She nodded then watched as Severus gathered the short but bony child's body up into his arms and lifted him with ease. Poor child, he looks so young.  
  
He's shorter and thinner than he should be. Snape commented as they walked to the side door that they knew was hidden in the stonewall closest to the Slytherin table.  
  
Now that I think about it, it really is unnatural, the way he looks after every summer. He's always so skinny and he looks pale and nervous. Xiomara said as she opened the door and held it open for Severus. He nodded in agreement and sighed. It was the one topic concerning Potter he really didn't wish to think about. Too late, you got yourself into this mess in the first place. You might as well finish it and get it off your mind.'  
  
Yes, all signs of abuse, remember how livid Minerva was after she went to go spy on Potter's family? He said as the entered the entrance hall and found the three wands sitting on a simple pillar, waiting for them. Xiomara picked up all three, stuck Severus's into his robe pocket, and tucked Potter's into the inner pocket of the boy's plain black overrobe.  
  
How could I forget, it was my first staff meeting. She just said his family were the worst sort of muggles. I always assumed that she had no clue about muggle life. She finally said after making sure Potter's wand was secure.  
  
Are you a muggle-born? ah, the one thing he never bothered to ask before.  
  
Yes. Why? she looked just as sheepish as he felt, she never brought up that topic either.  
  
I have some memories of Potter's that might explain why he is so small and why he seems skittish in the first few days of school every year. She nodded and he understood that she knew exactly what he was talking about and asking if her.  
  
What are we going to do about him? I don't know the password to the Tower. She asked.  
  
Neither do I, my rooms are closer than yours. He can sleep there until we figure this out. He said with a resigned tone. He wasn't happy about it, but he could live with the arrangement.  
  
Hmm, okay. How did you get some of his memories? She asked. Severus looked at the traces of stress still etched into Potter's face. Weren't children supposed to have smooth faces when they fell asleep? Oh, forget it.' said that inner voice again, only now Snape noticed how much it sounded like his hypercritical grandmother.  
  
I'll tell you there. He said as they walked to the suite of rooms he had above his labs.

---/----/----/----/----/---

Hooch looked stricken as he finished the tale of the clandestine Occlumency lessons and what he saw in Potter's mind, complete with a few scenes shown in his pensive.  
  
That's how I felt. Snape said in a toneless voice, emotionally drained from confiding in the one person he had dared to trust after his spying and after the Potter's deaths. Well, you trusted her more than you trusted anyone else.'  
  
And he shut you out as if he was hiding more? she asked, seemingly trying to put this new information together with her knowledge of the child sleeping on the chaise in the next room.  
  
Yes. That is what I said. Snape tried not to snap at his confidant and fellow meddler into Potter's home life.  
  
So he was abused, probably still is. How weird, the hero of our world, hated in the world where he lives. she mused as she stared into the fire burning in the grate before them. Snape had closed the magical connection of the floo, so they were safe from prying eyes and ears.  
  
And he's too proud to say anything, or thinks he earned it. I can't figure out which. Severus leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head like a pillow. Hooch still looked mildly shaken.  
  
Have you dug for more since you pull these? she asked after a stretch of silence.  
  
No. I refuse to do so. Severus answered promptly, not even thinking about it or looking at Xiomara. She sighed and continued to watch the fire as if it held an answer, which it very well might. She always was good at fortune telling.  
  
I think this hits close to home for you. she said in a sad tone that shocked then offended Snape.  
  
Unless you have something to add, leave. he growled out. He hated pity.  
  
Only my memories of Harry, it might help you to see them. she said. Snape's temper cooled and he looked at her, in the eye. She meant it. She wanted to know the truth as much as Severus secretly did.  
  
Fine. Use my pencieve, if you must. he said nodding to the stone bowl of silvery liquid. She smirked and started pulling memories out.  
  
I will. This still feels odd. She said as she pulled the last strand out.  
  
Is that it? he asked sardonically.  
  
her tone was the same as his. She started commanding the memories, pulling up colored images of Harry, nude from the waist up, for each of the years. Every image Snape studied.  
  
Where did he get the scars on his back? I thought Pomfrey heals everything. And that scar on his right arm, at the elbow. He asked as he watched the eleven year old turn twelve, then thirteen.  
  
He's had them since the first year. That one at his elbow appeared between the second and third years, it looked to have magical residue. she said as the image changed to fourteen, then fifteen where it stopped.  
  
Yes, I'd say so. I know the story about the one on his upper left arm. He looks different on a broom, like he's trying to forget or escape. Snape pointed as the image revolved in the dish and changed into the boy flying and then walking with his friends. Hooch nodded.  
  
Like you do when you work on your potions or are reading a huge text. You both look free or something. How do you feel when you work on your potions? She asked, Snape understood her questions and looks now, she wasn't trying to understand him, she was trying to understand Potter.  
  
Like nothing can hurt me, no one can step in and remind me of my past. He answered honestly.  
  
she murmured. He shook his head.  
  
I don't want your pity, why do you think I never mention it.  
  
Yes, but I think you and Harry might have far more in common than he has with his father or mother. She said with a tinge of anger and frustration tinting her calm voice. He had to admit it was nice to still be able to read her voice and gazes.  
  
he shrugged. Just to irritate her.  
  
You're impossible. It worked.  
  
I'll take that as a complement. He smirked and she shook her head in disbelief.  
  
Only you would.  
  
Good night. he said. She stood and hugged him before he could react.  
  
I'll be back in the morning, don't let Harry leave. she said with a grin, her eyes were still full of worry.  
  
Why shouldn't I? he asked in curiosity.  
  
I want to talk with him, even if you don't. she said as she reached the door.  
  
he grunted and glared.  
  
Same to you. she chuckled softly as she left,

---/----/----/----/----/---

Harry sat across from his two concerned teachers wondering how the heck they had actually put everything together into a credible summery of how he lived the summers. And hoe he lived before Hagrid whisked him away into this fairy tale land. He was also very confused by who the two teachers were, Hooch and Snape. Hooch's concern was natural to him, she cared about her players and even if Harry wasn't playing this year she knew him in close proximity for five years. Snape was the confusing one, as far as Harry knew the man hated him.  
  
So why was he trying to get Harry to confess the verbal and other forms of abuse. All it took was a few simple spells to show it was malnutrition that was causing Harry to be the shortest and thinnest person, of both the males and females, in his year. But they wanted to know everything.  
  
How odd.  
  
Harry wormed his way around the truth as he always did and escaped with a promise not to tell a soul that he could do wandless magic, and to report, on Sunday evenings, to Hooch for training in yoga and meditation, to control the natural magic.  
  
All through the day one thought bounced around in his head, Snape and Hooch care about me.' 


End file.
